Slow To Speak

James 1:19 – “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”

Why should we be slow to speak? In our culture, isn’t it better to be quick-witted? Aren’t we trained to have the best and quickest comeback? Sure, in jest and in light social situations, it’s fun to have quick comebacks and witty comments. But in deeper relationships, sometimes our desire to speak quickly can make our relationships suffer.

If we would slow down our interactions with each other in our deepest and most emotionally intimate relationships, we might see that those relationships become much more satisfying. When we are quick to speak, we often miss what the other person is saying, either in word or in tone or body language.

Quick speakers often get the reputation of being emotional steamrollers. Most of the time quick speakers are just trying to get a problem solved as quickly as possible, but many times it’s not so much a problem to be solved as it is a problem to be discerned, then solved. Many times a quick speaker can rob the other person of the chance to solve the problem for him or herself, thus robbing them of a learning opportunity. Sometimes, simply stopping ourselves from speaking too quickly can lead the other person to give us vital information to what is going on inside them, thus giving us a discernment of the actual problem.

Being slow to speak implies being quick to listen. I like how James puts both of these together in this verse, basically reminding us twice to do the exact same thing. I’ve written more about being quick to listen in the August Mental Health Moment.

In short, being slow to speak can help us have much more fulfilling relationships and much more efficient problem solving. God makes a whole lot of sense. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone followed His plan for life?