Dr. Aldo Pucci, the developer of Rational-Living Therapy, has identified 26 Common Mental Mistakes that most people make. These mental mistakes are easily identified, and once they are understood, they are easily rectified. Throughout the next few months I will be describing these Mental Mistakes, giving examples, and showing you what to do about them.
1. All or None Thinking: All or none thinking is defined as “seeing no middle ground.” This is often referred to as “Black or White thinking.” People who think in terms of All or None often have difficulty with:
Procrastination - “If I can’t get it all done in one sitting, I won’t do any of it.”
Perfectionism - “It’s not worth doing if I can’t do it perfectly.” “It’s not worth turning in if it’s not perfect.” “I’d rather take an F than turn in imperfect work.” “You either do the work completely or you don’t do it at all.”
Trying new things or staying with something they enjoy - “There is no use of me playing soccer if I can’t be on the USA’s World Cup soccer team.”
Marriage Issues - “You either love me or you don’t.” “The way I fold towels is the only way to do it correctly.”
Idealizing others - “He/she is perfect.”
Devaluing others - “He/she is absolutely terrible.”
Depression - “This situation is absolutely hopeless. There is no solution.” “Life is not worth living without _____.”
Dieting or Sobriety - “I indulged one time so I blew it.”
What to do:
1. REFUSE to think this way any longer.
2. Ask yourself if your statement is absolutely true all the time, or if there is some sort of gray area or continuum. Dr. Pucci states that most things in life are on a dimmer switch rather than a light switch. What he is saying is that there are degrees in most things.
3. Replace your old thought with a new, rational thought.
4. Practice your new rational thought until it becomes your new habit.
For example:
| Instead of thinking: | Think this: |
| “If I can’t get it all done in one sitting, I won’t do any of it.” | “If I can’t get all this done in one sitting, that’s okay. I will have less to do when I return to this project later.” |
| “It’s not worth doing if I can’t do it perfectly” | “There is value in learning from my mistakes. If I can’t do it perfectly, there is still value in doing it.” |
| “It’s not worth turning in if it’s not perfect. I’d rather take an F than turn in imperfect work.” | “I am a fallible human being. I can’t expect everything I do to be perfect. I would rather turn in imperfect work and pass this class than have to take this class over again because I failed to turn in an assignment” |
| “There is no use of me playing soccer if I can’t be on the USA’s World Cup soccer team.” | “Even if I don’t have the skills or talent for the USA national team, I can still learn a lot and enjoy myself by playing in my recreational league. If I enjoy soccer, I can play as long as possible.” |
| “You either love me or you don’t.” | “Some days your love for me will be stronger than other days.” |
| “The way I fold towels is the only way to do it correctly.” | “There are several ways to do many chores, and even if it’s not my way, it still gets done.” |
| “He/she is perfect.” | “He/she is a fallible human being with positive, negative, neutral qualities.” |
| “He/she is absolutely terrible.” | “He/she is a fallible human being with positive, negative, neutral qualities.” |
| “This situation is absolutely hopeless. There is no solution.” | “Just because I don’t see a solution doesn’t mean one does not exist.” |
| “Life is not worth living without _____.” | “My happiness does not depend on ____. I can have happy days and a satisfying life without ___.” |
| “I indulged one time so I blew it. I quit.” | “I indulged one time. I can learn from this so that I don’t do it again, and I can finish out the rest of today working on my goal of developing new and healthy habits.” |
Removing All or None thinking can help to alleviate many problems. How have you exhibited All or None thinking? What did you do about it?
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